The Secret Language of Flowers | Meanings Explained – MO BLUMEN
The secret language of flowers
How the Victorians sent hidden messages through blooms – and what flowers still say today
Long before text messages, people communicated through flowers. A carefully chosen bouquet could say “I love you,” “Forgive me,” or even “I never want to see you again.” This ancient art is called floriography – the language of flowers.
A brief history of floriography
The language of flowers has its roots in ancient Persia , where certain blooms carried coded meanings in poetry and gardens. The tradition traveled to Ottoman Turkey , where it was formalized as selam – a system of communication through flowers and objects.
In 1718 Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, wife of the British ambassador in Constantinople, wrote about the Turkish language of flowers in her famous letters and introduced the concept to Europe.
The Victorian era (1837–1901) made floriography a cultural phenomenon. In a society where openly expressing feelings was frowned upon, flower became a secret code. Dozens of “flower dictionaries” were published, and every well-bred person was expected to understand the basics. A gentleman could declare his love, and a lady could accept or reject it – all through the choice and arrangement of flowers.
Many of these meanings still exist today. We still send red roses for love, white lilies for sympathy and yellow blooms with joy – even if we forget the Victorian rulebook.
Flower that say “I love you”
- Red rose : The undisputed queen of love. Deep, passionate, romantic love. A red rose = love at first sight.
- Red Tulip : “I declare my love” – passionate yet joyful. More carefree than a red rose.
- Red carnation: “My heart aches for you.” Deep, longing love.
- Gardenia: Secret love. “You are lovely.” Intensely fragrant – unforgettable.
- Forget-me-not: “Forget me not.” True, lasting love and remembrance.
- Violet : “I will always be faithful.” Humble, devoted love.
Flower that say “Thank you”
- Pink rose : Gratitude and appreciation. The most elegant “thank you” in the flower world.
- Hydrangea : Heartfelt gratitude and understanding.
- Sweet pea: “Thank you for the lovely time.” Gentle, graceful gratitude.
- Dahlia: Elegance and dignity. “I appreciate your kindness.”
- Peach rose : Sincerity, humility, and grateful appreciation.
Flower that say “Forgive me”
- White tulip : "I’m sorry." A sincere, humble apology.
- Purple hyacinth : “I’m sorry, please forgive me.” The Victorian go-to flower for apologies.
- White orchid: “I deeply regret it.” Elegance meets humility.
- Yellow rose : Friendship and reconciliation. “Let’s start over.”
- Lily of the valley: “Return of happiness.” A wish for renewed joy after a conflict.
Flowers that say: “I’m thinking of you”
- White lily : Compassion, purity, peace. The classic funeral flower.
- White rose: Reverence, honor, remembrance.
- White Chrysanthemum : In many European countries: sympathy and mourning. (In Asia: long life and joy – cultural context matters!)
- Forget-me-not: “You will always be in my heart.”
- Rosemary: Remembrance. Often included in sympathy arrangements.
Quick flower dictionary – 20 common flowers
| Flower | Primary meaning |
|---|---|
| Rose (red) | Passionate love |
| Rose (pink) | Gratitude, admiration |
| Rose (white) | Purity, new beginnings |
| Rose (yellow) | Friendship, joy |
| Tulip (red) | Declaration of love |
| Tulip (yellow) | Sunshine, cheerfulness |
| Sunflower | Adoration, loyalty, joy |
| Lily (white) | Purity, sympathy |
| Lily (Stargazer) | Ambition, prosperity |
| Orchid | Luxury, beauty, sophistication |
| Peony | Romance, prosperity, good fortune |
| Carnation (red) | Deep love, admiration |
| Carnation (white) | Pure love, innocence |
| Dahlia | Elegance, inner strength |
| Hydrangea | Gratitude, understanding |
| Lavender | Calm, devotion, serenity |
| Iris | Wisdom, hope, courage |
| Chrysanthemum | Longevity (Asia), sympathy (Europe) |
| Daisy | Innocence, purity, simplicity |
| Forget-me-not | True love, remembrance |
Modern approach: Don’t worry about whether every Victorian meaning is “correct.” Today, what matters most is choosing flowers the recipient will love. A personal note explaining why you chose certain blooms is more meaningful than any dictionary. Still, knowing the basics makes your flower bouquet feel more thoughtful.
Flowers with negative meanings (Use caution!)
- Yellow carnation: Rejection, contempt. One of the few flower messages with a generally negative meaning.
- Black rose: Farewell, death, deep sorrow. Only for very specific contexts.
- Striped carnation: “I’m sorry, I can’t be with you.” A refusal.
- Orange lily: Hatred or dislike in some Victorian sources. Hardly relevant today.
- Butterfly weed: “Leave me.” An old-fashioned rejection.
In practice, these negative meanings are usually forgotten. No one sends yellow carnations as an insult today. But it’s still interesting to know the history.
Let your flowers speak at MO BLUMEN Vienna
Share your message with us – we’ll choose the perfect flowers. Meaningfully hand-tied and delivered across Vienna.
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Frequently asked questions
Yes – floriography was a real social practice in Victorian England and Europe. Several “flower dictionaries” were published (the most famous being Kate Greenaway’s “Language of Flowers,” 1884). Young people used tussie-mussies (small hand-tied bouquets) to send coded messages. Even the way a flower was presented mattered – the right hand meant “Yes,” the left hand meant “No.”
Definitely. White flowers mean purity in Western cultures, but mourning in many Asian cultures. Chrysanthemums symbolize joy and longevity in Japan, yet in many European countries they are funeral flowers. Yellow flowers bring luck in some cultures, but in others they are associated with jealousy. If you're giving flowers across cultures, it's worth checking local customs – or asking an experienced florist.
A mixed flower bouquet in warm, vibrant colors is positive all around – it says “I care about you” without the risk of being misunderstood. Sunflowers are always a safe choice (pure joy), just as they are pink roses (appreciation). If you're unsure, tell your florist the occasion and your relationship to the recipient – they will help you choose the perfect one.
Floriography – the secret language of flowers – gave Victorians a way to express what polite society would not allow. The calla lily , from a Greek word means beauty, yet still stands for elegance. Gardenias, with their intoxicating sweet fragrance , became a symbol of secret love . Roses come in a variety of shades — pink, red, white – each carries a different message, from faithful love to new beginnings. In China and Japan , certainly Flowers bloom associated with meanings love and wisdom . Peonies promise happy marriage and Good luck . Your birth flower tells its own story, and many countries have done so National flowers woven into their identity. Even the simplest delicate blooms in Flower arrangements can convey a deeper message.